Writing Goals

The goal, each and every year is to maintain a journal. 

Most of the times, I maintain it for a certain period of time and then I stop and forget about it for a while. But always return to it when I go through difficult periods in my life. Like crying, writing in my journal is so cathartic for me. It honestly has gotten me through lockdown. 

There were moments in lockdown I felt so low and so down. Just being trapped at home was very suffocating. I was going through some personal issues. Exercising by walking daily helped but it didn't help with the thoughts in my head. Writing down my feelings and what I was going through helped me release a lot of negativity I felt. I'm not sharing the exact details of what I went through but let's just say it was enough to cause turmoil. 

I've previously mentioned, as an extrovert lockdown was initially hard on me. But lockdown forced me to slow down. When you have no distractions you are forced to be introspective and in the end I was grateful for it. It has allowed a lot of personal growth and helped me to change my mindset to live a life of joy. Everything might not be as I wish but I learn to face each day with conviction. Learning to speak up and ask for what I want! Even if the answers are not what I want to hear, it's ok. I value myself enough to understand that I deserve better, and something better out there is waiting for me! I trust in that - Laws of Attraction! 

And that is what maintaining my journal has helped me achieve. 

Manifestation - Dec 2019

I draft posts and forget to publish....this year I will work on publishing my blogs a bit more frequently. 

Another example of a late post below - 

This year I wanted to manifest a lot of different things in my life.

I made a list, closed my journal and left it at that.

A few months later I looked back on my list and realised that one of the items on the top of my list was coming to fruition. Actually there were more than a few that I had achieved.

To me being able to manifest something, anything..........involves thinking positively.

I don't look at my list too often because I don't want to get obsessed with it. I like to read back on it every now and then to see how I am tracking.

Last week, something unexpected happened that I didn't manifest on purpose. This was not something I could have ever dreamed of. It is so left field but am facing the challenge with gusto. Bring it on!!! What else have I got to lose right?

To give what I'm talking about some context -

In March 2018 I delved in some creative pursuits which was only meant to be temporary for my daughter's 3rd birthday party the following month. I got so obsessed with the creative pursuit, I decided to take a beginners class to hone my skills and the rest as they say is history!!!!!

Out of Lockdown 2021

It's been 5 weeks since we got out of lockdown and life is relatively back to normal. Wrote the below 2.5 months into lockdown....lockdown ended after nearly 4.5 months. 

Now my journey for a better me and a life filled with joy and contentment and purpose is back on track. So much to explore and life to live!

I have kept a physical journal the whole time in lockdown and will continue to do so as it has helped with my mental health in leaps and bounds. Like therapy without paying a therapist. 

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Sydney Lockdown 2021

Week 10 into lockdown and my previous strong mental resolve is crumbling. This inactivity, being stuck at home and routines out the window is quite frankly depressing. I'm an extrovert and love being around people, and while I do occasionally enjoy time to myself...this drawn out lockdown is hard. I can only imagine what Melbournians are feeling having been in and out of lockdown longer and in their 6th lockdown which keeps getting extended. 

I try to count my blessings and look for positives which is what I've always tried to do in my life, look at the bright side because despite the despair I am better off than some people who have lost their livelihood, homes or even loved ones. But also I can't discount what I'm feeling because at the end of the day they are valid feelings. 

I miss my family, my friends and my life. So many things we took for granted.

2021 was going to be a year for me and do lots of things I missed out on because I have been in a long term relationship since I was 19. I ended the relationship in February 2020 but have felt that my life has been stuck (for reasons I won't get into) and 2021 was going to be the year I moved on. But of course, COVID had other plans. 

I got a taste of a life I never knew before. I never really dated when I was younger. It's unchartered territory but I was up for the challenge. I find as you get older, you don't have as much hangups. You have a better idea of what you want and you don't apologise for it or care what anybody else thinks. At the end of the day, it is you that you have to make happy. I knew what I was after in the beginning and I went for it guilt free. It was my time to have some fun. But then discovered how brutal the dating scene is now with the advent of dating apps.